Meaningful Twists to Some Common Expressions

5 min readNov 17, 2020

She was crawling around the floor like a zombie and refused to get up. “Come on, Anna. It’s time to go.” I said, not falling for her playful antics. “But, I’m a zombie! I can’t walk! I can’t stand up!” she said. “All zombies can walk.” I retorted, but I knew I’d already lost. Anna caught me red-handed.

“That’s not true!” Anna stood up immediately. “There can be zombies with no legs, and there can be zombies with wheelchairs, and there can be zombies who don’t want to walk.” Anna told me sternly. “You’re right.” I said smiling. “You should be more careful with your words,” Anna told me, as she grabbed my hand, and we walked outside. Anna is a precocious little girl, and she’s also quite literal. In this interaction she taught me the power of words and why paying attention to exactly what we say matters.

There are some personal development phrases we see quite often that are accepted at face value. But unfortunately, these phrases didn’t have an investigator like Anna to fact-check them and make sure they’re really what’s best for people. The following are a few meaningful twists to common self-help expressions. I’ll explain why their current phrasing may not be optimal and what it should be changed to to ensure more meaning going forward.

1. Treat People the Way You Want to Be Treated

Ahhhh. The golden rule. This is a wonderful start for how we should all interact with others. But what if others don’t want to be treated how we do? The new phrase should be:

Treat people the way they want to be treated.

By changing you to they, we make this a more you-centric approach to interacting with others. We place an emphasis on their values, their needs, and their desires as opposed to just assuming they want to be treated exactly as we do. The best way to do this is simply by asking questions.

2. Don’t Care What Anybody Else Thinks of You

It is critical that we strive to be our own person. We should never succumb to peer pressure, we should not try to replicate the life of somebody else, and we should never be hurt by hateful words about us. But it isn’t entirely possible to not care about what anybody thinks. Then you may have no guided direction. You’ll have the entirety of the world on your shoulders and this can be overwhelming. Instead:

Don’t care about what anybody else who isn’t important to you thinks of you.

You should care what people think about you if they have your best intentions in mind. Your family, your loved ones, your mentors and guides should be people whose opinions you consider and value. But, if somebody is a complete outsider, a stranger, or just a bully, then feel free to just throw those opinions down the drain.

3. The Worst That’ll Happen is They Say No

My mom always used to tell me this when I was nervous to put myself out there. I was so afraid of failure and rejection, but when my mom said this to me, I realized a no wasn’t all that bad. But I never considered the way in which I went about what I wanted. What if I were to ask for something rudely or carelessly? What if I burned bridges or acted like someone else was beneath me? Then, the worst thing that could happen is not just that they’d say no, but maybe they’d say never. Maybe they’d tell friends to say no to me as well. Maybe they’d harm my reputation. Instead:

The worst thing that can happen if you present yourself in the best way possible is they say no.

By adding in that little disclaimer when delivering this advice, the other person realizes they must do everything within their control to maximize the opportunity to get a yes. Only then will it be the case that the worst thing that’ll happen is they say no.

4. Never Quit

Somebody on a podcast once asked me to share the worst piece of common advice I ever received. The answer was simple.

Never quit.

If I didn’t quit my job, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Quitting that job was the best thing I ever did in my life. Sometimes, quitting is the best thing we can do because what we’re currently doing is not in alignment with what we should be doing in our lives. Instead:

Never quit on something you think about every single day.

This line makes it more powerful in that quitting becomes a form of resilience as opposed to just never quitting anything, which should actually sometimes be encouraged. When you think about something every single day, it’s something you should never give up on, because if you do, you’ll still think about it even after it’s gone. But, if you aren’t thinking about something every single day, then you could consider quitting, because it may not be something that you should be doing in the first place.

Final Words that Matter

Be extremely cautious of the words you choose. You won’t always have a little Anna around to monitor you, so make sure that what you say is really what you mean.

The purpose of this piece is to start a longer conversation about phrases we often see that can use some work. What other common expressions do you think could use changing? Share them in the comments, and let’s recreate the way we deliver advice to others!